Some of you have noticed that I shut down the Bergey Bunch blog this past week. I had been planning to rearrange some things (and move some of the content over here) anyway, but the real reason I shut it down abruptly was because I was hurt.
You see, I found out on Thursday that our family was being attacked by an online community. I noticed a huge jump in page views, so I followed a referral link and found my entire family being ridiculed, made fun of, nit-picked, and slandered. Every decision we’ve made the past few years as a family has been questioned.
They dug through my facebook and shared personal pictures and posts. They pulled bits and pieces from various blog posts and videos and garnered out-right lies from them. They found our ministry website and mocked our ministry, our pastor, our adoptions, our children’s singing, and much, much more.
And I’m going to be very honest here. The hurt of this nearly crippled me.
I couldn’t breathe as I continued to read the mockery and hate.
I shut down my old blog and switched my facebook over to “friends only” in an attempt to hide in my imaginary turtle shell and avoid further ridicule and hurt.
I didn’t sleep at all that night, and woke up the next morning in a complete fog.
I sat with my family and cried.
I very much wanted to defend our family, point by point by point. I wanted to remove all of our internet presence and lick my virtual wounds. I wanted to scream, “You don’t know my family and you don’t know the truth!”
But that’s ME.
It’s not my Jesus. He came to earth and taught us to love our enemies, to return evil with good, to walk 2 miles if we’re asked to walk only 1, to live peaceably with all men.
I am so far from being like Him, but oh, how I long to see people through His eyes.
Here’s my response to the critics:
I’m sorry we’re meeting this way. I would have rather met you ANY way but like this….
But since you’re here anyway, there’s something you need to know about the Bergey family.
We’re not a perfect family.
Brent’s not a perfect father. I’m definitely not a perfect mother. Our children aren’t perfect, either(but I think they’re absolutely awesome just the way they are). We’ve made many, many mistakes along the parenting way. We didn’t know it all when we brought home our girls, and if we could go back (with Johanna in particular), we would change the way we did many things. We won’t be perfect missionaries, and I bet when we are old and sitting around reminiscing about our life journey, we’ll all wish we could live our lives again and do a better job.
We’re not perfect, but we love each other unconditionally, and we love Jesus with all our hearts.
I don’t blog because I’ve got it all figured out and want you to be just like me.
I blog because I long to encourage other families to love big, parent connectedly, follow Jesus whole-heartedly, and live just a little bit more outside their comfort zone.
The truth here is, if you look for the bad in someone, you’re going to find it. (If you look for the good, it’s usually there, too.) If you’ve decided ahead of time that you’re going to hate someone, it’s pretty easy to find enough reasons to follow through.
I’m not hurting anymore about the unkind words you’re saying about my family. I’m not angry. To be honest, I just feel sad.
I’m sad because I bet if we met up in the mall, we’d have fun chatting while drinking our coffee and watching our children play together. I’m sad because I bet if you were my next door neighbor, you’d make me sugar cookies at Christmastime and I’d watch your children when you needed a night out with your spouse. I’m sad because I bet we’d really like each other if we saw each other through untainted glasses.
I don’t hate you.
Instead, I’m choosing love. You see, my Jesus loved as no man before or after has ever done, and He expects me to follow Him and love like He loves.
If you want to continue looking for the bad, keep reading. I’m sure you’ll find enough to keep you busy for a while. I’m not going to hide in my imaginary turtle shell. I’m just going to continue being me.
And while you’re here, I’d love to share my Jesus with you. You see, He saw through all my bad and even the very stinky ugly, and He loved me anyway.
And He loves you, too.
If you ever need a friend, you know where to find me.